If I Never Say the Words

And if I never say the words

I almost said a thousand times, 

remember how I said them 


how I whispered in the silence

the things I long to scream,

          in rhymes,

how I blew kisses for you

          across the distance, 

          across the miles. 

For in the darkest of nights,

I still found you

and cradled you in my arms;

remember I will always

          keep you warm.

Every morning I greet you

and before you close your eyes, 

remember how you wish

          you could flee

from the confines of your room

          to be next to me. 

If I fail to say the words

before I run out of time,

remember how I told you

          of my crimes,

how I showed you my scars,

and how you touched them


          from afar. 

And when the rain is pouring

          too heavily, 

remember, I will be here

          to be your canopy.

For each time I make you smile,

each time I draw out

          your laugh,

remember that for me, 

          it is more than enough

to get me through the day

          and when nights are rough. 

And if I cannot yet

          say the words

you’re not ready to hear, 

remember I will always be near;

          when the time is right,

          I will so recite

the words I can no longer

          keep out of sight. 

But if I never say the words

I wish to say a million times,

remember how I said them

in every way—

how I’ve been your ambient sound

when it was too quiet 

          or too loud;

remember I will always be


If I Never Say the Words

February 8, 2022

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