Ever heard of the ADHD tax? Most ADHDers and other neurodivergent folks are well aware of this. I definite it as the extra cost associated with the consequences of being unable to adapt to a society and systems that aren’t designed for people like us.
As someone already struggling financially, I can feel its weight more than ever. This topic is focused on the ADHD tax, in particular. It is not encompassing of other neurodivergent struggles, such as RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) and comorbid conditions like Bipolar Disorder, which I might talk about in a separate article.
Key takeaways:
- The ADHD tax costs real money
- Executive tasks feel more overwhelming than complex tasks, leading to ADHDers paying the ADHD tax as a consequence
- Solutions often advised by neurotypicals don’t work for neurodivergent people
- Start by accepting neurodivergence to develop coping mechanisms that actually work
Here’s how it affects me most.
Executive dysfunction
Most executive tasks feel overwhelming to me. Often, I can take on complex tasks, no problem. If there’s an urgent ask at work that requires heavy mental lifting, I can get to it in a snap because having ADHD has equipped me with problem-solving skills appropriate for crisis situations. Something’s on fire online? I’m your girl. Let me tweak that page in fifteen minutes or publish a well-researched full-blown blog article with 3,500 words in an hour at most—SEO-optimized.
But task me with making my own simple breakfast every day, and you’re in for a long-winded whine that would last until dinner. Toothbrush? Daily showers? Cleaning the house at least twice a week? Forget it. You don’t want to hear about it.
“But nobody likes housework,” you might say. That may be true, but imagine the frustration and feelings of defeat for failing to do those things magnified ten times, resulting in shame, guilt, and depression. Because apart from not having enough motivation to do executive tasks, most ADHDers want to do them perfectly when they get to do them.
But the biggest and sharpest pain comes from the moments right before performing those tasks.
The prospect of making a phone call to schedule an appointment, request a medication refill, or even ask a store a question could feel like an enormous burden to me. A task that takes around five minutes to complete requires at least five hours of sitting and dreading the situation before I finally decide to tackle it.
It’s like being in a constant state of the overwhelm™.
Here are other executive tasks that feel overwhelming:
- Monitoring spreadsheets
- Regular meetings
- Keeping a budget
- Washing the dishes
- Laundry
- Cooking
- Feeding pets
- Keeping active/going to the gym
So, what happens?
Consequences
I pay the ADHD tax.
- Instead of preparing healthy and affordable meals, I often end up ordering takeout. Delivery fees have skyrocketed in recent years, and restaurants place a premium on items made available through delivery apps.
- Poor dental hygiene requires me to visit the dentist more often.
- Missing the due date for medication refills causes me to miss meds for a few days, causing emotional and mental instability, which leads to poor performance at work.
- Not being able to use fresh ingredients means they go bad in the fridge, and we have to shop for new ones.
- To ease the burden of feeding pets on time and keep them alive, I invested in an automatic feeder that dispenses cat food on schedule.
- Because I also work full-time and need to have regular meals and keep the house clean, I decided to invest in a dishwasher and a robot vacuum cleaner.
Not that I am making enough money to afford these things; it’s just that if I don’t make these purchases, things would be more difficult and consequently, more expensive.
But why don’t you just…
Here’s where most neurotypicals weigh in, sometimes with good intentions, but often, from uninformed opinions.
Why don’t you form a routine and stick to it?
Are you kidding me?! Alright, here’s the deal. ADHDers do like and need routine. In fact, some people with ADHD overcompensate by being overly organized. We keep planners, journals, calendars, and whatever the new to-do app out there is to keep on top of our day-to-day tasks.
What’s happening? Why aren’t those working?
What’s happening, Susan, is that again, those activities lose their novelty over time (often, a short period), and we go back to the issue of executive dysfunction. Tasks that feel repetitive and not mentally stimulating eventually become boring, preventing us from even starting the task.
How about medication?
I am on Concerta – Methylphenidate HCL. A stimulant that increases the neurotransmitters in the prefrontal cortex to help with attention and impulse control.
It’s true that my medication helps me stay focused. But it doesn’t help me become motivated. It all boils down to things being less shiny, not enough to capture my full attention and warrant an action. Some people say that ADHD is a poor term for the disability. It should be called motivation deficit disorder, among other things.
In any case, yes, medication helps, but only to a degree.
Therapy, anyone?
Read the above.
So, what actually helps?
I’ll say this. Start by accepting the neurodivergence. This applies to both the ND and the NT people around the ND.
Once it’s established that traditional methods to get organized, focused, and motivated don’t work for someone with ADHD, then you can start thinking of ways around it.
But because I have ADHD and this has already gone on short of 1,000 words, I am drained, and will come back to share more about what helps later.
